The concept of loving yourself is supposed to be very easy, and just like with the practice of gratitude, it is one of the things that will help you create a more satisfied life. However, loving yourself isn’t easy, and there’s several internal and external reasons for that. Thankfully, there’s also several ways to overcome that reasoning and start the practice of loving yourself just like how you love any other person or animal in your life.
Self Love is seeing value in yourself, caring for yourself with good self care habits, and treating yourself with respect. It should be easy, it really should be, especially since you can mirror how you treat other people with self love as well. However, even some of the nicest people on the planet suffer from a lack of self love, which should tell you it is harder than you might think.
For starters, self love is constantly being attacked by the world around us. While a chapter about the dangers of too much and the wrong types of social media is present later in this book, it’s worth a mention here. How are you supposed to love yourself whenever everyone else is relentlessly chasing down an image of perfection?
Take your body for example. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to improve the way you look, wanting to be healthier, lose weight, or maybe get some more muscles. However, so many people come at it from a place of hatred for their bodies. They look at all their imperfections and state: “I’m so fat/ugly/unwanted/hideous” or “I’d only be good looking if I could just get rid of my fat stomach, or the weight around my thighs, or the extra ten pounds.”
This isn’t helped by seeing social media photos all over the internet, or even by seeing people walking out and about who are healthier than you or who have the body you desire. Often, instead of letting that motivate us we instead compare ourselves to other people and bemoan that we could never be like them. We don’t think that those photos are airbrushed, edited, primped and preened, or that some of those healthy people have done very unhealthy things to radically change their bodies, we just focus on the difference.
In focusing on that difference, we forget to show compassion for where we are or focus on how we can change our bodies. We forget to love ourselves and in forgetting that love, we forget how to want to improve ourselves.
Self Love Doesn’t Have To Mean Stagnation, Just Satisfaction
A lot of people seem to think that if we love where we are, then that means that we are doomed to stagnate. Instead, we have to hate where we are and have a desire to grow, and that’s the only way we can change. However, while the hate and anger based approach might work in the short term, or might work for certain types of people, it often won’t work long term.
Instead, we need to treat ourselves like a child. How many times have parents said “We love you and we want what is best for you?” How many parents love their children whether they get 1st place or 50th? They are satisfied with whatever their children put out, as long as they do their best and keep on moving forward, and we need to treat ourselves the same way.
Self love doesn’t condemn us to where we are, but instead gives us a foundation to build upon. Going back to getting healthier, which sounds better for long term growth and health: Hating your body and vowing to get fit like all the people on the internet tell you to do, or loving where you are and accepting that you can become better and want to improve?
Having a base and a bedrock of satisfaction can get you moving far more than having a base of anger and hatred for yourself, but how do you start loving yourself?
Making Self Love Easier
How would you treat someone you would like to woo or fall in love with? How do you treat someone you are in love with? What do you do if someone you love is having a rough time of it? Looking at how you treat others can prove a perfect guideline to how to treat yourself.
One of the first steps to self love is watching what you tell yourself and what you think throughout the day. Do you constantly put yourself down, bemoan that you can’t do anything right, or shower yourself with angry put-downs and insults? That’s not how you would treat a loved one, and it is certainly not how you should treat yourself.
It sounds silly, but if you choose to watch what you say for a week and make an effort to change the dialogue of your inner voice, you will see some real changes in your satisfaction levels. More of the inner voice will be covered in the next chapter.
Take Yourself Out For Some Self Care
Often, whenever we aren’t satisfied and we don’t love ourselves, we find ourselves stressed out and overwhelmed. When this happens, we need to focus on self care in order to recharge our batteries and focus on recovering and forgetting about all that is bugging us. So maybe take yourself out on a date! Go somewhere you’ve always wanted to go, do something that brings you joy, and just treat yourself kindly for a change.
Chances are, you will be very satisfied with the self care you have just given yourself, and you will also find that your stress levels have gone down as well. It’s often night and day for what these date nights can do for your physical health, mental health, and levels of satisfaction, so don’t skimp on them. You might find that you have a higher capacity for self love than you had previously thought!
Be Around People Who Love You
One of the best ways to pump up your self love and self esteem is to be around people who love you. Spending time with friends, family, a significant other, or all three can really boost your feelings of worthiness and self love. These people care about you, like what you like, and want to do things that make you happy. If you need a quick mental health boost, then take the time to call up some friends or loved ones and watch your mood take off. Plus, they might even be able to help you out with your self care, because they do know what you like and might have some ideas.